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Confidence and Public Speaking Coaching

Your subconscious is like an operating system; it’s recorded every experience we’ve ever had. And it develops belief systems based on those experiences. As babies, we are born blank slates and everything goes into to the subconscious.


As children, we believe everything we are told, good and bad. The unconscious beliefs that we formed as children may still be operating in us as adults causing problems in our lives.


Some examples of unconscious assumptions that we may come to believe as children:


  • I am bad.

  • There is something wrong with me.

  • If I was really good and loveable, then mummy or daddy would not reject/hit/abandon me.


So when we are told we are bad, called an idiot, yelled at, smacked, we develop these underlying beliefs that we are not good enough, or can’t do something, or that it’s not safe or acceptable to be ourselves. Unfortunately, giving up negative beliefs without changing your subconscious programs is like giving up sugar, it’s really hard.


I believe that what holds us back from fulfilling our true potential is a discrepancy of beliefs between our conscious and subconscious mind. That consciously we want to be healthy, happy and successful living our life purpose however our subconscious programs from childhood may cause us to sabotage our efforts due to negative belief systems formed from our experiences growing up.

I believe the key to having a rewarding purpose-filled life is in aligning your subconscious and conscious minds with your goals. If there is an area of your life where you are stuck or struggling, look to the subconscious for the answers – because that struggle is coming from a conflict between your conscious and subconscious minds.


Our memories are stored in groups, so if we have bad experiences, for example with public speaking, with a dog, maybe a car accident, our subconscious will have a playlist of those bad experiences. And it will add to that playlist every other time we hear or see some else having a bad experience with those things and it will trigger a fear response every time you are in that situation in the future. And so it becomes something we can’t control, it’s an automatic response.

To top it off, most of us talk to ourselves like someone we can’t stand. We say things that we would never say to anyone else and if someone close to us told us the horrible things we say to ourselves, we would never talk to them again. We are having an abusive relationship with ourselves. It’s hard to feel confident when you are telling yourself, you are horrible piece of crap every day.

You are the most important person in your life, you will be with yourself for every moment until the day you die. You are the one person that will never leave you and the most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself. We all crave love and acceptance and it’s crazy that we expect it from other people but refused to give it to ourselves.

The remarkable part is when we love ourselves, we radiate from within, and people are naturally attracted to us. Start a mantra of saying “I love myself” every day, several times a day. Whenever you start to say something negative, replace it with ‘I love myself.’ You will be amazed at the changes.

The most powerful words in the universe are the words you say to yourself. The meaning of the word Abracadabra is - I will create as I speak. An important question to ask yourself is what are you creating with your words?

If you need help to become a more confident person or coaching to get over your fear of public speaking, make an appointment today to have hypnotherapy, hypnosis and NLP in Auckland, New Zealand or hypnotherapy via zoom.

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